Freedomroo – Lena Dunham reflects on career as she quarantines in London

Self-isolation: Lena Dunham has told how quarantining in London has been a 'special gift' for her as she reflected on her career as she approaches her mid-thirties

Lena Dunham has told how quarantining in London has been a ‘special gift’ for her as she reflected on her career as she approaches her mid-thirties.

The actress, 34, is currently in isolation in the UK amid the country’s third national lockdown where she is working on the ‘most ambitious project’ of her career.

Sharing a make-up free selfie to Instagram, the Girls creator wrote: ‘Hello from the floor of quarantine in London, where I am in full isolation in accordance with Tier 4 lockdown laws! 

Self-isolation: Lena Dunham has told how quarantining in London has been a ‘special gift’ for her as she reflected on her career as she approaches her mid-thirties

‘But the chance to be alone with only a bag of crisps and my thoughts before I go full bore into the most ambitious project of my career has been a special lil’ gift.

‘It’s given me a moment to reflect on the strength and stability I feel as I barrel toward my *official* mid-thirties, and how deeply it contrasts with the flightiness and fragility of my twenties.’

Lena, who became a household name with her HBO series Girls in 2012 when she 26, told how she had to ‘fight’ to ‘stay in the mix’ at the time.

She wrote: ‘And it’s funny, because my twenties were much flashier- more outward facing achievement, more dresses and liquid eyeliner and taking my shoes off at parties and being told I was doing a hot job. 

Work: The actress, 34, is currently in isolation in the UK amid the country's third national lockdown where she is working on the 'most ambitious project' of her career

Work: The actress, 34, is currently in isolation in the UK amid the country’s third national lockdown where she is working on the ‘most ambitious project’ of her career

‘But I was fighting my ass off to stay in the mix, for fear of what a moment of quiet might reveal to me – the roaring in my ears, the scraping in my brain.’

Lena said that she had to ‘rebuild’ herself after the show ended in 2017, adding that she also got sober. 

She said: ‘The last three years- since Girls ended, since my health and long term relationship collapsed at once and I had to rebuild myself in a new body and home, since I got sober and learned what it meant to really sit with myself – have been deafeningly quiet. 

‘But in that silence, more has occurred than ever did when I was dancing as fast as I could. I’ve discovered my own values. I’ve taken up dorky hobbies. 

‘I’ve built and scrapped and replotted dreams. I’ve healed without even knowing it was happening. I’ve planted the seeds for the kind of life I thought I was living but I was only playing at before- one full of art and friendship and honesty and love. 

She wrote: 'The chance to be alone with only a bag of crisps and my thoughts before I go full bore into the most ambitious project of my career has been a special lil' gift'

She wrote: ‘The chance to be alone with only a bag of crisps and my thoughts before I go full bore into the most ambitious project of my career has been a special lil’ gift’

‘I’ve motored my own boat (that… sounded wrong?) I guess this post is a glowing recommendation for quiet, in all its forms. 

‘It’s the opposite of boring. What’s boring is staying at the party too long. What’s cool is sitting in the bathtub afterwards. What have you found in the silence lately?’

It comes after Lena admitted the pandemic had brought back ‘feelings of self loathing towards her body.’ 

She wrote: ‘You know I’ve been thinking a lot about my pot belly in quarantine- especially as I notice an unusual amount of articles with titles like “how I lost the weight” and “diet is everything.”

‘Are there more of them or do I just have more time to notice? Somehow, headlines that used to roll off my flesh rolls sting in a new way – not because I think that’s the body I’m meant to have, but because it feels like it’s adding yet another item to the epic to-do list we are all creating for ourselves in Covid- you know the one:

Career: Lena said that she had to 'rebuild' herself after her show Girls ended in 2017, adding that she also got sober

Career: Lena said that she had to ‘rebuild’ herself after her show Girls ended in 2017, adding that she also got sober

‘Now that I can’t be in the world, maybe I’ll finally… take up karate… build my own furniture… grow geraniums…” But for most people pandemic life has not proven to be a break from the world or themselves.

‘And so the list grows, the items remain unchecked, and the suggestion of a revamped clean eating plan in my newsfeed somehow feels like a personal assault.

The star added that she had grown comfortable and confident in her body over the years as she ‘realised what it was capable of’ before COVID-19 lockdown made her think differently.

She said: ‘Growing up chubby, fat, thicc, whatever you wanna call it- I always felt my body was a sign that read “I’m lazy and I have done less.”

‘Like if I just found the will to invest 30% more I could be okay. Over the years, as my body guided me through my career and illness and disability, I started to appreciate what it was capable of.

Candid: It comes after Lena recently declared she was 'self-isolating with my pot belly' in a candid Instagram post

Candid: It comes after Lena recently declared she was ‘self-isolating with my pot belly’ in a candid Instagram post 

‘But somehow, this pandemic time has brought back some of those old feelings of self-loathing and I think it all comes back to that damned to-do list, the one that started when we went into lockdown.

‘Should I be revamping my fridge with veggies and showing off before/after pics, emerging from quarantine with a revenge body? And why, after all these years spent fostering self love, do I still feel like weight loss is an item for my to-do?

‘When I could be adding “learn Spanish?” or “fall in love with a firefighter?” Like, what if I checked that one off *forever forever* (by doing it never never)?

‘ But I’m so curious- what has this period brought up for you as you’ve sat with the body you were given, no matter where self isolation has taken it?

‘Please share with me in the comments- I’ll be reading faithfully from right here in this bikini top.’

Feelings: The star admitted the pandemic had brought back 'feelings of self loathing towards her body'

Feelings: The star admitted the pandemic had brought back ‘feelings of self loathing towards her body’

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